荒芜的二亩三分地，好久没有进入此地。

 

上一次进入还是工作之前，转眼间已经1年又半。没有光顾此地，更多的是因为忽视和没有持之以恒的决心。

 

最近啊，生活变换太大，似乎已经找不到感觉。偶尔来自己的空间，跟自己对对话，聊以安慰我困难的时期。

荒芜的二亩三分地，好久没有进入此地。

 

上一次进入还是工作之前，转眼间已经1年又半。没有光顾此地，更多的是因为忽视和没有持之以恒的决心。

 

最近啊，生活变换太大，似乎已经找不到感觉。偶尔来自己的空间，跟自己对对话，聊以安慰我困难的时期。

荒芜的二亩三分地，好久没有进入此地。

 

上一次进入还是工作之前，转眼间已经1年又半。没有光顾此地，更多的是因为忽视和没有持之以恒的决心。

 

最近啊，生活变换太大，似乎已经找不到感觉。偶尔来自己的空间，跟自己对对话，聊以安慰我困难的时期。

       《白狐》歌词
　　我是一只修行千年的狐
　　千年修行 千年孤独
　　夜深人静时 可有人听见我在哭
　　灯火阑珊处 可有人看见我跳舞
　　我是一只等待千年的狐
　　千年等待 千年孤独
　　滚滚红尘里 谁又种下了爱的蛊
　　茫茫人海中 谁又喝下了爱的毒
　　
　　我爱你时 你正一贫如洗寒窗苦读
　　离开你时 你正金榜题名洞房花烛
　　
　　能不能为你再跳一支舞
　　我是你千百年前放生的白狐
　　你看衣袂飘飘 衣袂飘飘
　　海誓山盟都化做虚无
　　
　　能不能为你再跳一支舞
　　只为你临别时的那一次回顾
　　你看衣袂飘飘 衣袂飘飘
　　天长地久都化做虚无

 

小小孩那天真无邪的笑，真的让我无限的回味，寂寞的时候我总是一遍又一遍的回想她的样子；

回想她刚见到我时候的腼腆，我送她礼物时候的溢于言表的惊喜，

那霸道的样子，那种人本性里面，没有经过任何雕琢的自私表现，可爱，太可爱了。

 

她那么善于表达感情，那么清楚的知道远近亲疏，一天没有见到妈妈，见到时她会扑上去在妈妈怀里，搂着妈妈的脖子，

吻妈妈的脸，抚摸妈妈头部的任何可以抚摸得位置，明知道嘴，眼，耳，口，鼻，还是要指着妈妈的，问：“这是什么？”

然后自己笑笑。可爱，太可爱了。

 

生气时，她会说“不和你玩了”。你说的每一句话她都会打断你，会大声地喊另一个人的名字对你表示抗议。

会炫耀自己，会大声地和你抢着背诵古诗。

 

。。。。。。

 

一幕幕，在脑海里，想她，真的很想她。

 

 

一帘幽梦

 

Recently, there are too much to think about.

I don't want to do anything and just want life to stay still and not go forward.

I even don't do any sports recently, no swimming, no jogging, no interest in anything.

Life is a torture. Good for nothing.

What I am thinking about.

It is really a torture.

The Different Kinds of Stress

Stress management can be complicated and confusing because there are different types of stress--acute stress, episodic acute stress, and chronic stress -- each with its own characteristics, symptoms, duration, and treatment approaches. Let's look at each one.

Acute Stress

Acute stress is the most common form of stress. It comes from demands and pressures of the recent past and anticipated demands and pressures of the near future. Acute stress is thrilling and exciting in small doses, but too much is exhausting. A fast run down a challenging ski slope, for example, is exhilarating early in the day. That same ski run late in the day is taxing and wearing. Skiing beyond your limits can lead to falls and broken bones. By the same token, overdoing on short-term stress can lead to psychological distress, tension headaches, upset stomach, and other symptoms.

Fortunately, acute stress symptoms are recognized by most people. It's a laundry list of what has gone awry in their lives: the auto accident that crumpled the car fender, the loss of an important contract, a deadline they're rushing to meet, their child's occasional problems at school, and so on.

Because it is short term, acute stress doesn't have enough time to do the extensive damage associated with long-term stress. The most common symptoms are:
- emotional distress--some combination of anger or irritability, anxiety, and depression, the three stress emotions;
- muscular problems including tension headache, back pain, jaw pain, and the muscular tensions that lead to pulled muscles and tendon and ligament problems;
- stomach, gut and bowel problems such as heartburn, acid stomach, flatulence, diarrhea, constipation, and irritable bowel syndrome;
- transient over arousal leads to elevation in blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, heart palpitations, dizziness, migraine headaches, cold hands or feet, shortness of breath, and chest pain.
Acute stress can crop up in anyone's life, and it is highly treatable and manageable.

Episodic Acute Stress

There are those, however, who suffer acute stress frequently, whose lives are so disordered that they are studies in chaos and crisis. They're always in a rush, but always late. If something can go wrong, it does. They take on too much, have too many irons in the fire, and can't organize the slew of self-inflicted demands and pressures clamoring for their attention. They seem perpetually in the clutches of acute stress.

It is common for people with acute stress reactions to be over aroused, short-tempered, irritable, anxious, and tense. Often, they describe themselves as having "a lot of nervous energy." Always in a hurry, they tend to be abrupt, and sometimes their irritability comes across as hostility. Interpersonal relationships deteriorate rapidly when others respond with real hostility. The work becomes a very stressful place for them.

The cardiac prone, "Type A" personality described by cardiologists, Meter Friedman and Ray Rosenman, is similar to an extreme case of episodic acute stress. Type A's have an "excessive competitive drive, aggressiveness, impatience, and a harrying sense of time urgency." In addition there is a "free-floating, but well-rationalized form of hostility, and almost always a deep-seated insecurity." Such personality characteristics would seem to create frequent episodes of acute stress for the Type A individual. Friedman and Rosenman found Type A's to be much more likely to develop coronary heat disease than Type B's, who show an opposite pattern of behavior.

Another form of episodic acute stress comes from ceaseless worry. "Worry warts" see disaster around every corner and pessimistically forecast catastrophe in every situation. The world is a dangerous, unrewarding, punitive place where something awful is always about to happen. These "awfulizers" also tend to be over aroused and tense, but are more anxious and depressed than angry and hostile.

The symptoms of episodic acute stress are the symptoms of extended over arousal: persistent tension headaches, migraines, hypertension, chest pain, and heart disease. Treating episodic acute stress requires intervention on a number of levels, generally requiring professional help, which may take many months.

Often, lifestyle and personality issues are so ingrained and habitual with these individuals that they see nothing wrong with the way they conduct their lives. They blame their woes on other people and external events. Frequently, they see their lifestyle, their patterns of interacting with others, and their ways of perceiving the world as part and parcel of who and what they are.

Sufferers can be fiercely resistant to change. Only the promise of relief from pain and discomfort of their symptoms can keep them in treatment and on track in their recovery program.

Chronic Stress

While acute stress can be thrilling and exciting, chronic stress is not. This is the grinding stress that wears people away day after day, year after year. Chronic stress destroys bodies, minds and lives. It wreaks havoc through long-term attrition. It's the stress of poverty, of dysfunctional families, of being trapped in an unhappy marriage or in a despised job or career. It's the stress that the never-ending "troubles" have brought to the people of Northern Ireland, the tensions of the Middle East have brought to the Arab and Jew, and the endless ethnic rivalries that have been brought to the people of Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union.

Chronic stress comes when a person never sees a way out of a miserable situation. It's the stress of unrelenting demands and pressures for seemingly interminable periods of time. With no hope, the individual gives up searching for solutions.

Some chronic stresses stem from traumatic, early childhood experiences that become internalized and remain forever painful and present. Some experiences profoundly affect personality. A view of the world, or a belief system, is created that causes unending stress for the individual (e.g., the world is a threatening place, people will find out you are a pretender, you must be perfect at all times). When personality or deep-seated convictions and beliefs must be reformulated, recovery requires active self-examination, often with professional help.

The worst aspect of chronic stress is that people get used to it. They forget it's there. People are immediately aware of acute stress because it is new; they ignore chronic stress because it is old, familiar, and sometimes, almost comfortable.

Chronic stress kills through suicide, violence, heart attack, stroke, and, perhaps, even cancer. People wear down to a final, fatal breakdown. Because physical and mental resources are depleted through long-term attrition, the symptoms of chronic stress are difficult to treat and may require extended medical as well as behavioral treatment and stress management.

Adapted from The Stress Solution by Lyle H. Miller, Ph.D., and Alma Dell Smith, Ph.D.

Emerging natural and man-made threats to the health of the nation's population require development of a seamless laboratory network to address preventable health risks; this can be achieved only by defining the role of public health laboratories in public and private laboratory service delivery. Establishing defined core functions and capabilities for state public health laboratories will provide a basis for assessing and improving quality laboratory activities. Defining public health laboratory functions in support of public health programs is the beginning of the process of developing performance standards for laboratories, against which state public health laboratories, and eventually local public health and clinical laboratories, will establish and implement best laboratory practices. Public health is changing, and as a part of that change, public health laboratories must advocate for and implement improvements for public health testing and surveillance. These changes are outlined also in the Association of Public Health Laboratories consensus report (Association of Public Health Laboratories. Core functions and capabilities of state public health laboratories: a white paper for use in understanding the role and value of public health laboratories in protecting our nation's health. Washington, DC: Association of Public Health Laboratories, 2000).

 

 

This is one paragraph from one of papers I read recently. Too much papers to read, too many literatures to review, drive me mad. No choice, this is my work, job, and responsibility. Go on fighting...

It is a long time since my last vacation at home.

 

In a few days, it will be like last time. Hug from parents, my little niece's childish voice, and the dog's yip at me... All of them seems so attracive, homesick.

 

It was funny. My little niece didn't know who I was. She just glittered her bright eyes, maybe thinking about why did this girl come here, my grandma's home. Days later, she was familiar with me, and because of my "bribery" to her, she began to follow me. She wouldn't call me "aunt" often, unless she needed my help. At last she found I love her so much, but time for me to leave for school, making me feel so bad.

 

My lovely dog at home couldn't recognize me either. Everytime I went out or came back home, he yipped crazily, like I were a thief to my family.

 

Anyway, this is the last summer vacation before I get graduation. I need to adapt myself to all these changes, and I hope so do my parents and all my relatives. I have grown up. I will go out to blaze a way and space for myself. Emotion will always my comfort and great power for me to go forward.

  Adam and Eve

Adam and eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Eve had not been there long and Adam was trying to get a grasp on the female thing, so he asked God if they could have a talk. God replied, sure your my son and I love you can ask me anything.

So Adam asked, God you have given me the beautiful flowers and the sunset....But I look at Eve and she is so beautiful it takes my breath away... Why God, did you make eve so beautiful? God replied, my son that is easy, I made her that way so you would love her, Adam replied well, it worked but I have another question... I touch the cool water and rub the furry animals and they feel so good to me but I touch Eve and it is so wonderful my heart almost stops... God, why did you make her that way?

God replied well Adam that is easy I made her that way so you抎 love her...well Adam replied, it worked, I do, but God I have one more question and I don't mean to question your wisdom or anything, but God she is stupid, why did you make her stupid? God replied my son that is easy I made her that way so she would love you.

We create our reality through our perceptions and our way of being. I found a text which reflects perfectly what I believe about that. This is really what I experiment every day.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes."

  Need More Love?
Here Are Six Ways to Get It!

The wedding tradition of “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” has been around for hundreds of years. Many brides have been asked on their respective wedding days if they have gathered something old, new, borrowed and blue to carry with them as they walk down the aisle. The tradition of carrying or wearing one of each item is said to bring luck and fortune to the newly married couple. Have you ever stopped to think what the saying really means﹖ What is its origin and what does each item represent﹖

　　The original saying dates back to the Victoria times and states, “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in your shoe.”

　　Something old...

　　A bride may wear or carry something old to represent her continued ties to her family and her old life. Many brides wear a piece of family jewelry as their old item. Some brides wear the wedding dress worn by their mother or grandmother. In many cases, something old may also be something borrowed.

　　Something new...

　　Wearing something new is supposed to represent success and hope in the bride’s new life and in her marriage. If the bride purchased her wedding dress new, it may represent her new item, but any item that is new may be used. Something “new” is usually the easiest category1 to fill.

　　Something borrowed...

　　The borrowed item should be something borrowed from a friend that is happily married. It is suggested that their happiness will rub off on2 you and bring lasting happiness to your marriage. Some brides borrow an item of clothing, a piece of jewelry, a handkerchief or perhaps a beaded purse.

　　Something blue...

　　Wearing something blue dates back to biblical3 times when a blue wedding dress was worn to represent purity, fidelity4 and love. Over time this has changed from wearing a blue dress to wearing just a blue band around the bottom of the bride’s wedding dress to modern times  where it is commonplace for the bride to wear a blue garter5.

　　Silver sixpence...

　　Placing a silver sixpence in the bride’s left shoe is said to be a symbol of wealth. This not only refers to financial wealth, but also a wealth of happiness and joy throughout her married life. Since most brides probably don’t even know what a sixpence is, this part of the tradition is not used very often in modern times. However, if a bride would like to include it in her wedding, she can purchase a silver sixpence from many companies that sell bridal supplies such as garters and invitations.

　　Some brides are more traditional than other and may take a great deal of care in selecting one item for each category. It may be traditional for the women in their families to wear the same piece of jewelry.

　　Other brides aren’t bound by tradition but still may choose to carry out the custom at someone else’s request. If they don’t want to carry numerous items, they may simply carry two handkerchiefs in a small beaded bag--hey may choose to buy a new, white handkerchief and borrow a blue one from a family member. That would provide them with something new--the white handkerchief, as well as something that is old, borrowed and blue--the blue handkerchief. The handkerchief just may come in handy6 during the wedding for drying their joyful tears.

It is very hard to be a perfect woman. How hard will it be? An English female expert summarized the 26 alphabets “from A to Z”for the female. Read about them, maybe you can get something from it.

 A（Ambition）: Maybe someone will worry that this word would make you lose female’s tenderness. However, a 15-year investigation shows that 74% women with a position are actively in search of promotions.
  B（Belief）: Whatever situation is for you, a woman should at least believe in one thing in life. Only in this way, can you steer your life well.
  C（Cute）: Cute is a natural temperament. It is not only for a certain kind of personality or outside. Women’s cuteness can last a life time.
  D（DIY）: Do it yourself, and it is interesting. The so called “sentiment”must be created by yourself.
  E（Enjoy）: Enjoy your life actively. Actually, life is spicy. A woman must learn to love herself to get gay in daily life.
  F（Freedom）: To be in control of your own life and to do what you like, life will be wonderful.
  G（Go）: Anytime and anywhere, you should always get the courage to go forward.
  H（Happy）: You often complain that to be a woman is too tired. But have you ever thought that how much worriment is unnecessary? How much bothering is just get enmeshed in a web of your own spinning?
  I（Independent）: Be an independent woman, and you can always get your own ground to talk about anything.
  J（Just）: For a woman who has got a position in your field, especially female leader, to be just is the most important personal charm.
  K（Kitchen）: “She is not only be elegant in public, but also a good cook in the kitchen. This is a traditional comment on perfect woman. In modern society, a woman who can cook well is much more popular as well.
  L（Love）: Love can make a woman tender, and only the women who know how to love other people can get real love.
  M（Marriage）: It is said that marriage can make a man longevous and healthier. According to researchers from Chicago University, a married woman is more physically and spiritually healthier than the unmarried.
  N（No）: Do you know how to refuse? For the women who is in a disadvantage position, if you don’t like anything, just say “NO” timely. 
  O（Open）: Open-minded can make women more in time.
  P（Personality）: Fashions are always changing, maybe it is human nature to dislike the old and prefer the new. But let yourself back to quietness sometimes, and it can make you more feminine.
  R（Romantic）: Do not always look forward to men’s romantic, because this is supposed to be women’s business.
  S（Study）: You can never stop study to keep up with the pace of man. 
  T（Tenet）: To your career, your friends, marriage, and yourself, tenet is a bottom-line. Under the support of such a line, many troubles of choices can be neglected.
  U（Understand）: Why men often say that women is unreasonable. Try to think at an opposite position, and you will find that a generous woman is easier to be understood.
  V（Vigor）: Who like a pool of dead-water? A vigorous woman will be a pioneer of the time for ever.
  W（Wisdom）: Women’s wisdom is just like “still waters run deep”. You can always let the smug men around you show themselves unless it is a crucial moment.
  X（X）: If there is no X in life, what’s meaning of tomorrow?
  Y（Yoga）: Yoga is the best exercise for women to cultivate themselves.
  Z（Zeal）: To do more in zeal, it can make you 10 yrs younger at least.

Summer holiday is comming soon, July 16th.

 

A project on family planning is in my hand at the moment. Could I complete it until July 16th? I hope so.

 

Another task for me is to further my own project. Job hunting will begin in October. If all the work can be done by then, I can attach all my attention to job hunting.

 

Recently, all my roomates have gone home. One is for her exams, while the other for her baby. So I am left alone. Sometimes I can't get good sleep, plus every week I go swimming twice or three times. Really feel kind of tired.

 

I hope such a depressing part will pass soon and I hope I can get all my work done before the holiday so as to go home on time...

 

 

Aestheticism, filling in my mind. Sometimes I idealize everything around me. That's is why I am not satisfied with my work, my environment, and my future.

 

There will be happiness and sadness, success as well as failure, hope and disappointing in life. That is a normal life. But sometimes I just loaded my shoulder with so much pressure, to think about it, which makes me hard to get into sleep.

 

Just let it go. DOn't pay too much attention to everything. Energy is limited, so I just need to try my best, whatever the result will be.

 

In that way, I can keep positive. I can lead a quiet life.

 

Change what you can change, if not, just let it be...